Thursday, 17 November 2011

Just plain ranting

why is it when the boyfriend cheats the girlfriend of the boyfriend only get upset with the one whom the boyfriend cheats on with? i have been cheated on in mylife time, and i to was upset, although i think im the only person in the world to want to listen to the other womans side of the story and in the end i didnt blame her, i blamed the over sexed ex bf who got her drunk to begin with, and not to meantion told her that we have splitten up.

i have two sides in myself i have the side of me which would woop one of my best friends ass for cheating on his girl weather he was overly attached to her or not, and then i have my side who misses the best friend like crazy and dreams of the day when he will just pack up his belongings and decide to come live near me.
i do feel for both sides of the story, i wish i could tell his girlfriend never to let him go and to make sure she holds onto him forever,the girl is a fine girl, needs alittle bit of a overhaul in her looks but she is pretty, yet the other half of me wants to rip her eyes out and set her on fire. haha the cruel cruel world of me XD

when i think of her as just another girl that is in need of help, i know what to do, iknow how to help, i would bend the earths orbit to help the girl.....but when im the cheaters cheat, why do i still find it so unbearable that all i wanna do is help the poor girl??? even tho she is the gf of the friend??

gah the mental brain of many thoughts going my head at once and 60% of them me feeling guilty for her, even tho i wouldnt take it back because of my respect and care for him.
id promised myself if he was to return id keep my thoughts occupyed by swapping my thoughts of wanting to just grab him and ... yeah with thoughts of homework and story writing. it does help, but im guessing  should have come up with that idea before i saw him..and not after everything had happened. and hmm maybe i should have kept thinking of john howard(no offence) using him as a cooling off thought, lol, it helps me but yeah, i stoped trying to think about it because thinking about my mate was alot more appleing then the ex prime minister of australia.

btw for the record the males in my area suck..there rude selfish pigs, why is it i can only find the good decent guys in places 1000miles away for it a sign im to end up alone? or maybe i should venture out into the wildness...
ive been to a few different places where ive met some of the most amazing guys, confrences in Qld and holidays, where we have met and exchanged emails and so forth, but knowing things will never be able to seariously happen because of the distance is a nightmare. and how do you tell someone who lives so far away that you have feelings for them? without wierding them out or horrorfying them? and are these "feellings" real? or just some hopeless fantacy?
new topic(although based within the main one)
would you tell your partner you cheated on them? not many do ahve the balls to tell the truth, when one of my ex's cheated on me, i found out because of photos on his phone of my "ex bestfriend" naked. Yes my best friend(now we are no longer friends of course) but yes, he had many of her, and he had sent many of him also, and it was more shocking to realise i hadnt even seen him without a shirt on, yet my best friend sees him naked. torn between two worlds, i hated him, and i hated her, then i realised she being her slutty self did it to him, although that realationship ended within a few seconds....
.........there was another relationship when my ex cheated on me, but that one ended alot differently, he told me, and i then went to his other and found out what exaccly happened and why, they were both honest and i understood, and i realised they didnt just do it for the sex or the fact to cheat, they had serious feelings for each other which me and him did not posses, we ended as friends, and even now to this day 3+ years on they are still together going stong and i couldnt be more happier for him and his partner.

if i had my way ultimately id have all my matwes from afare move to where im living, to be closer to them all and feel like i actually have a social life, like the tv show friends and big bang theory, i get quite jealous of them, being so close and always having another so close to them if they ever needed anything they were just right there.
im not one who get many friends, im very quiet when i meet people, sometimes i dont even speak at all, im blonde and reletivly a small size compared to quite alot of women these days. im not spotry although i do love the odd day of dancing around in my underwear to music. i do not tend to go out night clubbing or drinking to get drunk. im somewhat normal and quite boring, i do not deny that. i just dont understand what to do to become more social, trying to get invited to things and talk more to people doesnt help, ive tryed that, and i end up at the partys sitting alone by myself thinking "why the fuck do i bother' or i end up being forgotten after 5min.

i want so baddly to have the connections like most other people, and ive even given up with the whole issue of it, i just dont bother anymore, because in my mind i think why bother with something just to always have it blow up in ones face?

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