Tuesday, 13 March 2012

i forgot to mention that im re-doing my bedroom burlesque sexy style.... XD comments about ideas would be grand!!

new love

whats new with me?

well, i am now seeing somebody, my friend, we call each other boyfriend and girlfriend but it still seems odd to say bf/gf, its just odd!!

he is my friend, but i think about him all the time,

he isn't the model type i usually go for, nor is he the strongest or most musclier....but he is perfect....he makes me smile even when i’m bawling my eyes out he still manages to make be smile, he doesn't run away if i cry like the others i’ve dated before.....he was hurt badly tho by his ex gf, she cheated 3 times and she is a sad little whore in my opinion........she didn't deserve him.....their relationship had been dead for a while. but technically they spilt up only a month ago =/

i get scared i’m a re-bound but i’ve been friends with him for couple years now...

more soon xx

Tuesday, 28 February 2012

Random thinking again

what does it really mean? what does it take to bring a friendship to something more? is it really possible to be friends after you have gone beyond friendship?
what do we do now? theres always a million questions around this topic of what to do now, and the right answer is there is no right answer, there are different answer's for different people and different situations, no one can for see the future LOL, or Choose how different thing/situations will turn out, What do you think i should do? don t even  bother to ask that because frankly every single person/couple is different!!

Here we go, if for example you are two friends who have gone a little further then just being friends, Is it awkward? does it feel normal or weird? is there anything besides the normal sexual attraction? or do you feel like everything is correct? do you dream and hope to see that person for the rest of your life? are you excited to see that person and to have then just hold you??…..Theres different ways to love people also, Friendship, Couples, Rarely or just like family, can you picture your life without them? how is it? is it just a normal life??

if so then im guessing your not involve! sorry gals….just my opinion of course..

If your do dream about them constantly and have the ideals that you two would be great together wather it be getting married and having children and so on, then you never know it might be the right person for you!

But then again don't be blind sighted by sexual attraction but hunnie it doesn't always work! vie done the while sexy super model dating and it wasn't worth is the guy had no marbles and he was an idiot….aghhh, then again based not ht don't go out and find the ugliest guy out!!!!! he to can be an asshole or a dumb  dumb… be warned that not everyday with great eyes and six pack tells the truth, if he says he is too busy working and he works at maccas and apparently have a 24hr schedule? then im guessing he is LYING PEOPLE!! use common knowledge girls!! 
like seriously….use your brains.

until the next time i have a random thought.


Tuesday, 3 January 2012

so here goes nothing, as the blossoming flower begins to open for the day, what does the flower choose to do, go towards the sun? the sun the feeds her and helps her to grow and flurish? or does the flower go towards the small slug that keeps comming back for more, the snail thats so devilishly hard to resist!?!?

the snail that makes her feel good, and sexy inside, the snail thats is not right for it but still is able to make the flower feel happy, or go towards the sun and completely forget the snail thats been there for so long in the young flowers life =]

Wednesday, 28 December 2011

feelings out

Lately ive been questioning weather i am ready/able to be in a relationship again, i think about not being alone and having someone special tospend my time with and that makes me happy, but then something always clicks and i feel like i am not good enough for anyone....i always feel like i do not deserve to be happy or have fun with someone, i feel guilty.....i think about a loved one who passed away so young and left his adoring wife behind, and i think its not fair for me to be happy when she isnt....i dont know what to do anymore...
I have grown into someone new, Which in certin areas i am proud of myself in,
Eg: i can now look in the mirror and not be repulsed, i now can look at myself and think/say “I look good, i am young, energectic, and not obeese or anerxioc” i am actualy happy to look at myself in shop mirrors and try stuff on, whenbefore i wouldnt try anything on. id just buy it straight away without knowning if it looked good n me or not.
so for that i am proud...
although the costant feeling of not being good enough drives me nuts!

Ive been talking to someone i met somewhere where i shall keep to myself for now.....we have talked for about a week or two online and we have so much in common, well in my eyes we do.....he seems like an amazing person but i have the same thoughts of that he will turn mean or he will suddenly lose interest in me once we see each other face to face, im actually terrifyed he will!! i tryed not to be interested in him in hopes to trick my own mind, but after talking and having long convosations about important things in the world and different beliefs, and having fun and enjoyment in comming onto my computer to cheak my emails, it makes me happy, which is bad, idont want to be happy incase he makes me unpappy and it hurts :(

he made a comment to me week ago, that he used to be bullied about the way he looks and things, but from what i see of him, i dont see how anyone could pass judgement, he is a cute guy and not to meantion has a personalitly that is cool :) aghhhhh im doing it again! see? i talk nice and sweet about him, or i think about him and i get excited and happy, yet still scrared at same time that he will not feel the same after we eventually go out...

Im not much to look at, im an adverage female, blonde hair + blue eyes, i am more of a loner then of a social person.....Actually i take that back, when it comes to being online and talking with people i know im very social, in person i am not, i get very very shy........

aghhh i need help

Wednesday, 23 November 2011


are we destened to date the same men over and over again?
is it true do we have our own patterns and no matter what we do to change them we will always stay on them??

 "yes its true, ive dated guys who where tall, dark, handsome and had huge passions for cooking but also had huge sex drive, to much for me to handle. i tryed to change the men ive dated but we always ended rather quick. So its true we cant help it"

is this really true??

what do you see in him?

alot of women say that they only date guys because of their personalitly and not there apperence.
is this really true? or do are we just giving up on standered's and giving up on the idea that everyone can find that one hot spunk in the pack of guys to be with.
i admit i once used to be one of those women who said i would only go for guys because of their personality and i would even lie to myself that i didnt care about looks. durring the times when i was dating the guys only for personality i realised when i was kissing them, so forth, i wasnt thinking of them, i was thinking of the guy on a cover of romantic book i saw in the book shop.
a past date recently began to talk to me again after such a very long time, i first thing i had noticed was that according to him he had lost a few kg since we last saw each other, and the only things i could think of was 'eww eww eewwwww' its a bad thing i know, but then after a while of talking to him, not only did i used to ignore the apperence and try not to give a rats ass about how the guy looks, i realised i ignored the personality also, i realised when we were dating i ignored his whole persona, i day dreamed of charatchers in movies and so on...

there it was, i noticed i wasnt looking for a man for his personalitly or his apperence, i was just looking for a man.

All i can think of is thankgod i finally opened my eyes and saw the world for what it really is!!!